For me, the idea of a small, do-it-yourself ritual gathering was a natural extension of what I had found several years ago in the rave scene. Although the large, colorful raves that I started to attend some six years earlier did provide some amount of spiritual transcendence, I was always searching for something more pure and real. I found myself enjoying smaller parties, and I quickly learned that the more energy you put into a gathering, the more energy you would get back.
This was definately in my mind as I sat in the "staging area" for this evenings event, a friend's flat in Santa Cruz. Myself, and about 20 friends who I had met through the rave scene in the bay area, were all psyched for this evening's festivities. As more people arrived, we started to make some rudimentary plans: who would control parking, when to update the voicemail number, what the DJ order would be. All along there was a sense of excitement and anticipation.
Renegade gatherings are especially exciting for two reasons. The first is that there is always the danger of being shut down by the authorities. Doing a party on the beaches north of Santa Cruz usually had a 50% success rate, not very good odds considering the amount of effort people put into these events. But, the fact that you are putting all this effort into the party is the other factor that makes it exciting. When it all comes together, you know that you and your small group of friends were entirely responsible for making it happen.
Around midnight we make final preparations and leave Santa Cruz, heading north on the lonely Highway 1. Tonight I was with two new friends from Nottingham, England. I had met them over the Internet and they were visiting the bay area to check out the scene here. I was determined to show them a good time. The site is a completely isolated stretch of beach with a gated path leading down to the beach from the highway. Here the scene is chaotic and exciting. To make these gatherings happen, everyone takes responsibility for a certain part of the production. Everyone is depending on everyone else, because one mishap can render the whole adventure useless. In trying to drag an entire sound system 300 yards down a broken path, while at the same time hiding 300 people and their cars from being spotted by authorities, the number of things that can go wrong is substantial. But everyone keeps a positive attitude, and everyone is driven by some force within them to make the impossible come true. I quickly park my car by the gate and unload the generator, extension cords, and a variety of props and camping equipment, then park with the other cars, out of site across the highway. A small team of people are using flashlights to ID cars that look like they are looking for the gathering, and then park them safely off the road. Without these people, a passing highway patrol would certainly see at least a few mis- parked cars and come down to shut the gathering down.
Soon, the sound system arrives and teams of people start the long process of moving 16 sound cabinets, amps, turntables, the generator, blacklights, water, brewing pots, banners, stands, tents, sleeping bags, firewood, fresh fruit, etc. down to the beach. I am taking full responsibility for powering this party, so once I have the generator in place, started, and extension cords running to a power strip and illuminating a small lamp, I feel relieved. In the mean time, two audio technicians are combing through their boxes of interconnects and plugs to figure out to best way to merge the two sound systems we are using into one. Another group of people are setting up the backlights and figuring out how to best position them to illuminate the two fluorescent art banners we have put up on either side of the speaker stacks. I get my tiki torches and arrange them in a sacred pattern around the dancing area, adding a tribal feel to our production. A team of girls are quickly placing many sacred objects on our alter in front of the DJ, including an orange fluorescent Buddha with a necklace of chasing LED's. Several random drummers are providing the beat while we work.
At around 1:30am, the first beats are emanating from the speakers. Once the final tweaks are done to the sound system, the first DJ starts his set and the ritual is underway. Only now could all those involve finally take a deep breath, relax, and enjoy what they had created. I walk around being social, meeting up with friends, checking on some little details, meeting new people. It is always interesting to see what kind of people make it to an event like this, one that you only promote by small fliers at other small gatherings. After making some new friends, and concluding that this party was "go", I find one of the other key people involved with producing this gathering for the sacrament. He is eager to tear me off a single square of Q-bert, a variety of acid that got it's name from the 3-d cube design on the blotter that resembled the early 80's video game.
Goa Trance music is our current obsession. It has a quality that is quick, light and spacy. The beat and sounds make one feel as if they are bouncing off the stratosphere. Rough, growling, grizzly synthesizers sounds cut like a rusty knife deep into your brain into your soul. These sounds penetrate you, get into you, touch you deep in your head. An hour after ingesting Q-Bert I am grooving out relentlessly on the beach. The gathering is at critical mass, maxing out at around 300 people. The temperature has dropped substantially, forcing participants to generate their own heat by dancing. Time distorts tremendously in the vibe of this gathering. Dancing feels so right, so good, that one can continue for hours on end and think nothing of it. Two o'clock, three o'clock, four o'clock, the hours pass quickly and I enjoy the sheer pleasure of dancing in this environment that I have created for myself and my guests. The pulsating Goa beats drive my body directly. My brain is taken out of the loop of controlling my body. Instead, there is a direct connection between my aural nerves and my twitching leg and arm muscles. My body is so tied up with dancing, that my brain is no longer concerned about it's physical limitations. With the body taking care of itself pulsating to the beats, my brain is free to soar out into higher and higher dimensions of trancendental bliss. Dancing isn't something I have to force my body to do... it is simply what I want to do most. There is no thoughts of rest. No thoughts of pause. I am in the most satisfied state I have ever experienced, and I want it to continue. Thanks to years of trance-dancing, my body is fully capable of dancing non stop for a 6 hour stretch, so I let the beats push my body further and further... at the same time, my brain becomes increasingly detached from my physical body, my spirit soaring through higher dimensions of pleasure. This is everything I crave in life, dancing hard to ripping beats.
By five am, the first hints of the next day are peaking over the eastern horizon. By now, only those people fully into the vibe are left. Anyone not into the party has either gone home or crashed out under a warm sleeping bag. Emerging from my trip, I can start to connect with those around me. Simple eye contact, glances, moving in sync with other people, is all it takes to confirm that they are in the same ecstatic state you are. There is some sort of energy field surrounding the party. It is warm and womb-like. Its like the generator is not only powering the sound system, but also somehow powering this energy field. I am gripped by a sense of love and warmth. It is 5am and I know that there is nobody on this deserted stretch of beach that will stop our gathering before sunrise. As the distant lights of dawn slowly illuminate those around me, I see nothing but wide smiles and utter, total, complete joy. It is in this state that I fully understand vibe... the feeling I get whenever I am in proximity of numerous other people in ecstatic states. Looking at the joy others around me are experiencing causes me to dance harder, which in turn forces them to dance harder, and the feedback loop continues driving us further into that state of transcendental bliss. Pre-dawn, the universe is in complete order, everything has worked out this evening and there is nothing left for us to do except enjoy it and push it further. Endorphins flood my body, naturally pushing me higher as the acid starts its long, slow retreat.
There comes a time when you feel so at peace with yourself and the being around you, that you cannot possibly imagine it could get better. When you are proved wrong, you can justify a genuine spiritual experience. With the DJ spinning the perfect track, the sun finally makes its ascent over the horizon. The first rays of solar energy hit with the impact of a laser, piercing deep within me. I look around for the first time at the illuminated environment surrounding me... waves of the pacific ocean gently crashing on the white sand beach. The lighthouse in the distance. The rolling grassy hills inland... beautifully costumed and decorated people all around me. It is as if mother nature, or Gaia, or God, or whatever you wish to call the spirit that encircles this planet... with all of its infinite duties of spinning the earth around the sun, keeping balance between a trillion living organisms, has stopped, and paused, for just 60 seconds, and acknowledged me as a life form. For the first 60 seconds of the new day, Gaia has decided to show me, one mere human, all of her beauty and glory in one concentrated burst. For sixty seconds I am floating above the earth below me, experiencing the most sheer beauty I have ever imagined experiencing in my life. Everything around me is pure light, pure positive energy, pure love and pure beauty all at once. For 60 eternal seconds I am being touched by the hand of god. For 60 seconds Gaia is saying to me, in her own language of light "I acknowledge you as a human... I am here and I am real." For 60 seconds I glimpse into heaven, eternity, or however else you can describe the highest level of human perception of what it means to be a living being on this planet.
But it is not just Gaia I am getting energy from. As someone who helped make this happen, I am getting a little piece of everyone else's bliss. For all that BS I went through early that day, getting the generator and hauling it over a mountain in rush hour traffic, spilling gas, lugging it around, I am getting ten fold return on my efforts. I can only imagine the energy return the friend who gave me the acid is getting... or the DJ spinning the music...
As the morning continued, the scene on the beach continues to be a true celebration of simply being alive on this planet. A few girls strip off their clothes and run naked, doing cartwheel and backflips, on the wet sand. There was not a lot to say to each other, just smiles and hugs. Even though the intensity slowly receded, the feeling of some sort of electrical force around the gathering continued. We all felt connected, and we all knew that a gathering that goes off this perfectly is a rare experience, so we simply savor and enjoy it.
At around 8:30am, a friendly ranger comes down the path and tells us that we have had our fun, and it was time to pack it up and go home. We talk him into letting us run the generator until we had finished brewing our sacred hot Chia tea beverage. A tall, lanky friend with crazy long hair was supervising the sweet brew. Once it had completed, and some ingredients added, he poured a small amount and tasted it. We all sat speechless awaiting his verdict. A smile on his face indicated that the perfect brew had been achieved, and we all poured tall glasses and drank deeply delicious spicy beverage. Even the ranger, with a cup of chai in hand, seem to understand the vibe we had created here on this beach.
One might think that after being awake for some 24 hours straight, dragging a sound system down to the beach, and then dancing for some 7 hours on end would make the job of dragging all the equipment up to the highway difficult. But with the magical vibe still flowing though us, and with everyone chipping in, it was actually quite easy. Slowly everyone packed their piece of the party into their cars and one by one we departed the beach. I took my time on the way home, stopping often along highway one to just peer at the wave crashing on the rocky shoreline, and ponder how amazing it is to be alive on this planet.
American man, aged 24, working as a computer engineer
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