The night before Thanksgiving I popped 5 little "chocolate hearts" (I think these are 60-80 mics of LSD each.) And I also popped 2 St John's Wort capsules (I had already taken two about 6 hours earlier).
This was one of the few chances I had to trip. I was very tired from my new job where I work the graveyard shift. I was frankly in a condition that I normally wouldn't trip. But I hoped maybe the St John's Wort would help a little. My wife was going to bed... so I picked up my bong and accessories and made my way to the front room. I started watching TV. Not much was on... but I kept scanning. After a while I could feel the LSD hitting. It was hitting me so fast that I was a little worried. My mind seemed to be attracted to a few negative thoughts. I thought... Oh shit!... I hope this is going to be good.
Soon I was tripping at a level that I have not been before with LSD. The Conan O'Brien show came on. I enjoy his show. Well I didn't realise it, but it was a special show. Every Thanksgiving Eve the Conan Show has only gay guests, or persons that are active in gay movements, or sometimes persons that just want to make a public statement about their support of gay issues.
While tripping my balls off... I was listening to these mostly gay guests. I started feeling a deep empathy/caring for them. I have gay and lesbian friends, but I have never connected at a spiritual level like I did that morning. I felt the deepest love for my brothers. I felt the hurt that they experience and the way they are treated by their fellow man. I could go on for some time telling you how I felt. But I think you get the idea.
My mind seemed to go through waves of being able to watch TV, and then I would go into a deep, blank stare mental trip. Then, all of a sudden, I felt this huge wave of love, acceptance, and euphoria. I have taken ecstasy only once, and it was great, but this was a thousand times more powerful than the ecstasy. While soaring through the universe and feeling more love and more euphoria than I have felt in all my life my mind exploded and filled the universe. My euphoria was so strong that I felt the time/space around me warp and crack until my love and happiness overflowed into other dimensions. I was aware of this explosion of love and I could see it explode out from my home. While looking down at the earth I could see it expand out into the universe. I was sure that the police and my neighbours would be knocking at my door. I was sure that I had permanently changed the world forever. This love was the most accepting, forgiving and giving love. I thought about how I would love to share this love with my friends. This did not happen once. It happened over and over again.
Another mental explosion that I had was an explosion of my "male-ness". Just as my euphoria/love exploded into the universe, the male essence inside of me exploded. I could feel my whole body and how strong and very male that I am. The testosterone seemed to squirt out from my body. I could see [this seems funny] the male odours coming from my body. My male-ness influenced and altered everything around me. My male-ness was a primal creative force that created the universe. My strength was not a threatening force. It was not violent. I was a ruling dominating force that was steady, confident and strong.
During all of this I felt no sexual arousal (I often do while tripping.) You would think that with all of my maleness in my trip, that sex would be a part of it. But it wasn't. I don't know if the St. John's Wort contributed to the love and euphoria. Words cannot describe how powerful this surging love, acceptance and euphoria was that night.
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