Council on Spiritual Practices Home Page Here is another preliminary result from our survey. Respondents were asked: "do you feel that [spiritual experiences induced by a drug] have been harmful or valuable to you and in what way?".
The responses were overwhelmingly positive. Many were unequivocal in their appreciation of the value of their experiences: "they allow me to realise just how grand and wonderful life is" and "they have brought me to peace with things".
A number of common themes emerged from the responses. The first was that the experiences were valuable simply because they were new experiences (and experiences were seen as an inherently 'good thing'), and offered huge potential for learning and personal growth: "they have been valuable in letting me experience more than other people. I feel that when things happen in everyday life, I have a broader range of experiences from which to draw a response". This is especially the case with difficult experiences: "learning to deal with the bummer psychedelic trip (which can be violently dark and terrifying) is a practice run for when this kind of shit really happens".
Difficult trips were valued for the insights they provided, even when those insights were not welcomed: "before I used entheogens I was depressed, alienated, nihilistic, very angry. I'm not giving all the credit to the chemicals, it took me much hard work to get where I am today, but they showed me that there was real beauty in the world, all around us, all the time. They stripped my soul bare and forced me to look at things I would rather have ignored".
Entheogenic experiences offered a freedom for some to think the previously unthinkable: "drug experiences can inspire you through visions of euphoria and what could be if you set your mind to it. Drugs have allowed me to open my mind and feel easy about some taboos and explore different ways of thinking".
Many of the respondents felt that their experiences had improved the way they related to others. A common thread in the responses of those who had had a spiritual experience on ecstasy was a feeling of increased openness and positively towards others: "my xtc breakthrough showed me many things... like the way humans can share energy, as well as steal energy from each other. I can now look to the future with hope rather than fear because I have realised that I can change the world in some sense by changing my own mind... changing the ways I deal with people... spreading love and joy instead of hate", "ecstasy has shown me that it can be very hurtful to the mind and body to restrain your emotions. I have become more outgoing and expressive of myself... ecstasy has also helped me become more open to trying new things in life and meeting new people", "I smile more easily to strangers and can strike up a conversation with less trepidation".
A respondent who took ecstasy three times in a small group situation gave this description of the value of the experience:
"I take the liberty of saying that all of the members of the group have gained value from the experiences. We all dropped our inhibitions to just be. We ducked out from beneath societal pressures and returned to our true selves. We learned to be more understanding and less judgmental towards other. We saw different perspectives. We were free to tell each other all the things we had wanted to, to deal with the hurtful situations from the past (such as rape), for females to kiss females in the non-sexual human need for touch, for men to hug men, to breathe the air and be thankful for it, to smell with pure untouched senses, to taste the colours in popsicles, to feel each separate fibre in the carpet with our fingers, to be like the innocent, wondering children unscathed by society that we once were. It was clean, pure, safe and loving again. Long after the experimentation was over we learned to be more understanding, tolerant and less judgmental of those around us. To watch the sunset and truly experience the colours and sounds and smells it brings. To be grateful for the bright, clear blue sky, to give a compliment to another without a second thought".
While comments on new feelings of openness were particularly evident from those respondents who had had entheogenic experiences on ecstasy, they could also be seen in the replies of respondents who had taken other substances. A common positive feeling was increased sense of place: "I can put myself in a frame. I feel now that I am part of the One. I gained some stability from my experience which serves as a base upon which my entire life can be built up. It led me out of chaos. It gave me faith" (LSD). Another respondent found that this wider feeling of belonging led to better relationships on a smaller scale too:
"I have a much stronger idea of what it means to be human and where I 'fit' into the grand scheme of things. As a result of my entheogenic experiences, I have gradually moved from an atheistic perspective, feeling lost, being prone to frequent depressive episodes and suicidal tendencies, feeling disconnected from the society, community and friends, to being a generally peaceful and optimistic person with a strong religious and spiritual bent, taking an active role in the unfolding of my life, and feeling connected to friends and community" (LSD and DXM).
The feelings of unity with the universe which some people experienced as a result of entheogens remained after the experience and provided a sense of balance and perspective: they "gave me a paradox sense that the way life and universe go on is fundamentally all-right, despite counter evidence" (LSD, psilocybin) , "I am now convinced that we are not only a body, not only an individual, but also part of the WHOLE THING" (LSD).
For many respondents the increased feelings of stability and hope came from a changed view of death. One reply simply stated that "I no longer fear death". Another said that the "profoundest benefit has been that through direct encounters with the spiritual Consciousness that lies behind 'reality' I now know, without a doubt, that the death of my body and my identity is not the same as the death of the spiritual force that animates them, for that force is part of that greater Consciousness. Although I don't feel that 'I' will live on after death, this is perfectly OK".
One respondent used to have severe panic attacks, associated with thoughts of death, and would become overwhelmed with fear at the thought that death was the end. After his experience he said "I felt very different about the prospect of continued existence after death. It's as if it gave me an alternative to the idea that death was the end, and although I don't want to believe it, it has shown me that other possibilities may exist".
While all of the respondents reported overall benefits, some difficulties were mentioned. It appeared that foremost amongst these was a change in perspective resulting from a powerful experience. One respondent said that his experiences had been "temporarily harmful in that they shattered the paradigms I'd used to relate to the world - an experience which is likely to be at least a little traumatic". In a similar vein an experience was "harmful in the sense that one can no longer live with society's blinkers on".
Another respondent felt that his LSD experiences had made it more difficult for him to function in the 'normal' world now that he had an awareness of a transcendent reality. But even this aspect is not always seen as completely negative - one respondent wrote that "the only way these experiences could be seen as harmful is that they have made it impossible for me to believe in, and difficult for me to participate in, our materialistic consumer oriented culture."
While in many replies the increased sensitivity produced after a peak experience was welcomed, some felt that it could become too much. Ecstasy helped one respondent to 'feel' music more intensely, but this also led to depression because he "can also 'feel' other people's emotions. I am strongly affected by the 'vibe' or emotions people close to me emit."
Another respondent pointed out that drugs can be an easy way to feel
the best you have ever felt and can lead to a lack of motivation to achieve
those feelings in other ways. Some young people were overwhelmed by the
power of the experience: "It took me a long time to get my head together
afterwards. It's as if the experience was so strong, that it hardwired itself
into my brain. It was about a year before I could finally look at the experience
in a positive way." A respondent who had a spiritual experience on
ecstasy found that "every week is an emotional crisis on ecstasy"
but remarked "it's all part of the roller-coaster ride that is ecstasy".